Thursday, February 28, 2008

Natural Male Imprisonment

Steve Warshak, owner of the company that produces Enzyte has been found "guilty of conspiracy to commit mail fraud, bank fraud and money laundering," according to the AP.

On this day, I urge everyone to remember the reason anyone knows about Enzyte at all: their commercials. A discussion of the epistemological status of Enzyte and other "natural enhancement" pills commences below, but first let us watch some funny videos.

According to the manufacturer's website, Enzyte "includes Korean red ginseng, ginkgo biloba, zinc, and octacosanol." According to Enzyte's Wikipedia entry, no clinical effect has been proved.

I'm feeling a lot of guilt right now for putting off my homework, so rather than take the time to thoroughly go through the ingredients and claims and so forth, I'll refer you to sage advice given by the Federal Trade Commission in 1998.

  • If the product is advertised as effective for treating impotence-and no physician's prescription is necessary-forget it. It won't cure the condition.

  • If the product is advertised as a "breakthrough" in treating impotence, check with your doctor to see if it is legitimate.

  • If the product is promoted by a "medical organization," call your physician to check the credentials. Phony "clinics" and sham "institutes" are touting bogus cures for impotence.

  • # If the product says "scientifically proven" to reverse impotence in a high percentage of patients, check it out with your doctor. Some claims that "clinical studies" prove a product works are false; generally, high success rates should raise suspicions.

  • If the product being pitched to cure impotence is "herbal" or "all natural," dismiss it. To date, no "herbal" or "all natural" substance has been shown to be an effective treatment for impotence.

Thanks to Ed Brayton.


adam said...

damn, rickrolled again!